Fear and loathing in North Tipperary....

Cow'ngate....

2009-03-25T11:36:00.005Z

I am outraged, no fuming at the way the Irish government has trodden their hobnailed muddy boots all over civil liberties and freedom of speech in the last 24 hours. For those not aware of what has happened.Two days ago someone entered the halls of the Irish national gallery and (without permission) hung a nude drawing of the current Irish Taoiseach Brian Cowen amongst the other paintings. It took a while before this was noticed and the painting was promptly removed. Big joke, no harm done and all that one would think. WRONG!

The "event" was covered on the national news which showed some of the pictures. They were not offensive insofar a drawing of a naked obese man can be deemed not offensive. There were no grosly distented erect penises or anything of the likes. Just a naked fat bloke.
But great offense was taken in the halls of Dublin castle!
To everyones surprise the national broadcaster RTE last night broadcasted a public apology for covering the story and showing the images.

As if this wasn't enough they also removed all links to the original broadcast from their website. Big brother, police state, thoughtcrimes?
As if this wasn't outrageous, ridiculous and offensive enough the Gardai (Irish police) this morning entered the offices of Today FM, one of Irelands bigger radiobroadcasters, and demanded copies of email they had exchanged with the artist that made the paintings. Apparently they had no warrant, but sure that would be OK, wouldn't it? Audio coverage of this can be heard here.
The government has now also demanded that the Director General (RTE's head honcho) steps down over this as the coverage has caused great offence.

Let's put this in perspective for a minute; after years of mismanaging the country and buggering the collective Irish population the government now feels like they are above & beyond criticism and that they can use the Irish judicial system to surpress political satire?! Offensive? I can think of justified comments on the government that would be a lot more offensive.
Are we going in the direction of Thailand where people get thrown in jail for offending the king?
It would be bad enough if this type of action was supported by legislation but as far as I have been able to ascertain it isn't which shows us that the government is willing to act on an arbritary basis. Cowen was obviously not joking when he said that he: "would run this country the way he saw fit".....

Anglo Irish Golden Circle...

2009-02-19T17:25:00.002Z

Ikea "group-buy" idea...

2008-10-20T14:40:00.003+01:00

I am moving house (again) at the moment.
Because of this redecorating the new abode is being considered. As someone who lived on the European continent I have been exposed to the phenomenon that is Ikea. Great furniture etc. at dirt cheap prices. Especially great if you have kids that break stuff at an alarming rate.
Living in Ireland I am now faced with the problem that the nearest Ikea is an 8 hour round trip. Not exactly shopping inducing distances...
So while pondering this over last night I come up with the idea of an Ikea "group buy".
The idea is fairly simple;
We get a large enough number of interested parties, we compile a list of what everyone wants, money gets collected (incl. a small fee for collection) and we drive up in a van/lorry/truck to pick up the items.
Some of it can be dropped of on the way back and for the rest we can decide on a central location for pickup (a lot closer for everyone that Belfast).
I put the idea out on Twitter and got enough positive feedback to take this further.
So what I suggest is that anyone who is interested or who has suggestion just posts this as a comment to this post.
I will then look at all the comments and see if I can organise the whole thing...

No Tweets today...

2008-07-03T15:27:00.002+01:00

I will no longer post my Tweets on this blog and will remove the ones already there until such time that Big brother will stop looking over my shoulder and "penalizing" me for my comments...

04/07/08: Update.
I've received a number of messages from people asking me what this post is all about so I've decided to expand a little on the original message.
I've been (automatically) posting my Twitter messages on this blog using "LoudTwitter".
One of my more recents Tweets included a comment that was slightly critical of an Irish state body. Someone inside that organisation read the comment and took offence. This led to the same organisation pulling the plug on sponsorship that had been promissed for a business networking event that I am organising. Petty really...
I offered to discuss the circumstances of this comment but there was no interest in this.
What's more, since this happened the same IP address from within the same network checks my blog several times a day now. I can only guess why as it is private blog with very irregular postings. Obviously they do not have anything better to do.
What's more; I have never seen any visits from this organisation on my business blog which contains postings that should be a whole lot more interesting.

Anyway, because of the fact that the event that I am organising is aimed at helping start-ups ventures and new entrepreneurs and the fact that any sponsorship would only be used to benefit these parties by providing prizes that will help them to develop their venture, I have decided that rather than persist and maybe cause more damage, I will remove all twitter messages and not post any new ones...

It's a shame but so be it...

Sensitive condoms...

2008-05-02T19:18:00.000+01:00

This is too good to even comment on:
"A musical condom designed to play louder and faster as lovers reach a climax is to go on sale in Ukraine. Grigoriy Chausovsky, from Zaporozhye, said his condoms came fitted with a special sensor that registers when the condom is put on. It transmits a signal to a miniature speaker in the base of the condom which play a melody.
He told local media: “As the sex becomes more passionate, it registers the increased speed of the movements and plays the melody faster and louder."

Security issues at Shannon airport..

2008-04-13T14:21:00.005+01:00

I am a regular visitor at Shannon airport. Either traveling myself or picking up - dropping of people. One thing that surprises me every time I go there is the lack of security.
Now I am not talking about the security inside the airport affecting travellers but rather about the perimeter security.
The airport is surrounded by an industrial estate, fields, a fuel storage facility and water. The only visible security is a little guardhouse manned by (at most) two unarmed airport security staff. Lately that checkpoint has also been unmanned.
I doubt it that there is any covert security.
That leaves a multitude of avenues of attack open to anyone with bad intentions.
Seeing that a large number of US troops travelling to and back from the Middle East make stopovers at Shannon as well as (allegedly) the odd rendition flight and visit by US dignitaries this would make it a high value target.
Now I am not going to outline details here as I do not intend to provide a manual for suicidal idiots. However off the top of my head I can come up with 4-5 possible attack scenarios with an above average probability of success. Combined that with the fact that terrorists nowadays are not too concerned with a escape route or their own survival rate and the tendency to commit suicide attacks that net a single digit number of "kills" and you can see where I am going.
I am sure that with the ERU being deployed in certain areas of nearby Limerick they can spare a few men to carry out a risk analysis and provide adequate perimeter security.

A taxing time...

2008-03-07T16:05:00.002Z

I recently wrote about my experience being audited by the Irish taxman.
This "story" got a huge amount of exposure and ended up on the front page of the two major Sunday newspapers in Ireland. This was followed by articles in another Irish newspaper on Monday and mentions in a raft of other Irish media (radio, blogs etc.).
The story was even picked up in my homecountry, The Netherlands, and got a similar level of exposure there. It was featured in several newspapers, blogs and on an online radiostation.
In the days following this I was asked by a lot of people if I wasn't afraid of "offending" the taxman. To be honest i was a bit taken aback by all the media exposure but seeing that I was not critical at all of the taxman i expected it to be taken in good spirits.
Obviously I was wrong.....
Yesterday a big brown enveloppe from the Irish revenue Commissioners arrived in my mailbox. It contained a lot of forms and a covering letter. It now turns out that they are auditing my personal finances.
I am expected to produce within the next 21 days:
- Records relating to all my sources of income from 1/1/05 to 31/12/07
- Bank, credit card & loan statements from 1/1/05 to 21/12/07
Now again, let me repeat that I have nothing to hide and am not reluctant to provide this information. However it is a huge pain in the behind and will take up quite some time to collate. These people don't seem to realise that I have other things to do....

The power of blogging.....

2008-02-27T20:03:00.003Z

I put a post up here last week on my experiences with the Irish Tax auditors and how they use social & business networking profiles as basis for an audit. It was a quick post made without too much though. I did NOT expect loads of hits or feedback.
I can now see how wrong I was.....
The story was first picked up on Friday and included in Damien Mulley's "fluffy links". Since then it has been on the front page of two major Sunday papers, mentioned (and discussed) twice on Irish radio and was included in last Monday's Irish Independent newspaper.
Internationally (yes!) it has been mentioned on an Dutch radio programme and has been listed on two Dutch news websites.
It has off course also been picked up by a number of blogs and today it made www.valleywag.com
I just hope that the taxman realises that I am not being paid for this!

For those interested following are links to some of the sites mentioning the story:
http://tinyurl.com/2ejwy3
http://tinyurl.com/yvar6s
http://tinyurl.com/yrmfas

The HSE needs to go to war.

2008-02-25T13:20:00.005Z

there was an article in my local paper last week. It exposed a directive issued by the HSE that ambulance drivers in "some cases" (read most) have to bypass the A&E unit in Nenagh hospital and bring patients to the A&E facilities in Limerick, Laois or even Kilkenny hospitals. This would all require a traveling time of well over an hour. Now any person with half a bit knowledge of trauma medicine knows of the so-called "golden hour". Experience has proven that a patients chances of survival greatly increase if he/she receives treatment within the first 60 minutes after receiving the injuries. If treatment occurs outside these 60 minutes the chances of survival decrease rapidly no matter how experienced and well equipped the ambulance crews are. So this decision clearly diminishes the survival chances of any person requiring A&E treatment in the Nenagh catchment area. This is again a decision that typifies HSE policy.
Operational and management decision are made by bean-counters without any regard for the patients.
We now have a healthcare system in Ireland that drives trauma victims around the country for over an hour, has people on trolleys in hallways for days on end and can't even do a simple thing such a process and analyse an X-ray immediately.
This is ridiculous and unacceptable. In Iraq and Afghanistan injured soldiers who have their limbs blown of by an IED have a better chance of survival than a victim of a road traffic accident in Ireland. I strongly suggest that we scrap the whole system of healthcare currently in place and replace it by something along the lines of what the US military currently has deployed in the various theatres of operations. We need to setup a number of primary/trauma care facilities across this country so that any sick or injured person is never more than a 30 minute ride away from one of these. Structure these facilities along the lines of the Combat Support Hospitals. Anyone coming in to these will be subjected to triage and treated accordingly. Once a patient has been diagnosed and stabilised they will be either discharged or "passed up the chain" to a more specialised treatment facility/hospital.
These primary care units make more sense than a full hospital facility in every county and are a lot more cost effective. Staff them with a mix of trauma surgeons & nurses and assign no more than 2 administrators. Have all primary care units managed from a central facility located somewhere else in the country but staff this central management office with medical staff re-trained to management duties and not just bean-counters.
You can then close all the general hospitals and replace them with a number of specialised treatment centres across the country. All cancer patients go to centre X, all paediatrics go to centre Y etc...
A system along these lines will be patient-centric and ensure (for as far as this is possible) that any patient will receive the best medical care possible.
I know that with the way the system is structured at the moment that if any member of my family develops a serious illness that I will put them on the first flight out of this country...

Irish Tax office catches up with web 2.0...

2008-02-19T12:43:00.002Z

I had the great pleasure this morning of being subject to a tax audit.
It was announced by a letter that I received a few weeks ago so it wasn't a surprise.
What was a surprise was the fact that the person conducting the audit had printouts of all my online networking profiles. That's Linkedin, Xing, Facebook etc.
I ended up being questioned on the content of these profiles. Not that I have anything to hide but some content was out of date leading to some digging (no not on www.digg.com)by the tax people.
This really annoyed me and I clearly pointed out that these profiles held no legal validity and if they had no right to use them as part of an audit.
It adds another chapter though in the number of privacy issues for people using online networking sites. Not only can friends, foes and potential employers view and use your profile information and activities, now the tax office will use this information also....
Scary really....

Dell (Top class) Tech support.

2008-02-11T12:48:00.002Z

Below is a real life email exchange between Dell support and a customer. Names have been deleted to protect the innocent:
For your information, the customer is in Ireland and has submitted this through Dell's Irish website

Hi there, Pierre

LE HARD DRIVE IS MERDE / KAPUTT

Salutations
XXXXX

----- Original Message -----
From: "UKI_TS_Dimension_Support"
To: <*************>
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2008 11:53 AM
Subject: Re: Case #: 20080207134925189 (KMM12755180I57L0KM)

> Dear Customer:
>
> Thank you for contacting Dell.
>
> I apologize for the inconvenience that I am unable to understand the
> issue
due to language barrier. Please reply back to the same email providing a brief description of the issue in French so that I would be glad to assist you.
>
> I assure you that I shall take the initiative to resolve this issue as
soon as I receive the above information in French.
>
> Thank you for choosing Dell.
>
> Respectfully,
>
> **************************************************************
> Original Message Follows:
> ------------------------
> * * * PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT WHEN REPLYING * * *
> * * * This is a feedback Message from the Dell Online Communications
Center. * * *
>
> Customer Information:
> **************************************************
> Name: **************
> Email:**********
> Daytime telephone number: XXXXXXXXX
> Service Tag:XXXXXXX
> eTrack: ****************************
> **************************************************
> System Label:XPS/Dimension 210/9200C
> Problem:Computer
> Operating System:Windows Vista
> Problem Description:
> IDE DEVICE FAILED
> ERROR CODE: 0F00:065 D
> :137 B
> WILL NOT START WINDOWS / BLACK SCREEN
> WENT THRU TROUBLESHOOTING; NEGATIVE.
>
> **************************************************
> Sent to: UKI_TS_Dimension@dell.com
> Referring URL: 159.134.164.52
> Date submitted: 07/02/2008

Don't believe the hype (Eircom still sucks).

2007-12-20T18:22:00.000Z

I had great hopes for Eircom lately. A new ownership together with new management seemed to herald a fresh wind.
Not so unfortunatly, like a new government but the same civil servant body Eircom is still manned by the same bunch of stoopid idiots that have been there for years.

Proof: I recently moved house. Both my the lines in my previous and new residence are on the same exchange. I know this for a fact as it's the only exchange in a 10 mile radius. My provider in the previous residence was UTV. I contacted them a week before the move and requested the line to be transfered to my new residence and that I wanted to keep my number. I was informed that this would be no problem.
One day before the move I received a call from an UTV respresentative informing me that the number could not be transfered because Eircom's automated system had refeused it as NOT being on the same exchange. I told the UTV rep that this was complete nonsense and he agreed to put the request in again. Two days later he called me back and informed me that the request had been refused by Eircom with the same excuse.
This pissed me off no end so I pulled out my "little black book" and called the local head of repairs for Eircom (I have his number from a previous time when there were huge ongoing problems with the local exchange). I told him my story and he confirmed that both lines are connected to the same exchange. He even told me that "sure, any eejit would know that".....
To help me he contacted one the person in charge of connections for this area who agreed. In fact he said that if they received a work-order they could transfer the number the same day.
I called UTV and gave them the names of these two guys and their contact numbers and told them to pass this information on to their Eircom contact. He told me that they only dealt with an automated system and had no contact details for a "real person" within Eircom. This does not surprise me as Eircom consistently tries to put as many layers between itself and it's customers.
Anyway, the UTV chap promised to escalate the issue to Eircom and to include all the information. I had a faint glimmer of hope that this would sort it.
No such luck. I was called by UTV today and told that Eircom had now refused the transfer because (apparently) the address was in a different county!!
This is an obvious load of nonsense.
Anyway they had informed UTV to ask me to cease the line in the old residence and to then get Eircom to activate the line in the new residence and to assign the (now free) number to this new line. Net result would be that I had my number, UTV was minus one customer and Eircom was plus 1 customer....
Being at the end of my tether I decided to try this. Well call me Shirley but the Eircom rep hardly needed any explanation and knew within seconds what to do. This leads me to believe that this is one of Eircom's un-official policies.
I will now probably have my number transfered within a week but Eircom have not heard the last of this as I have already referred this matter to Comreg.

P.S. Another interesting thing is that the line in the old residence stopped working within hours off me requesting it to be ceased but that it apparently takes two days before this registers on Eircom's systems...

Irish property market slowdown?

2007-11-26T16:34:00.000Z

While driving around North Tipperary this morning I saw these two signs within a few mies of each other.
Personally I think they say more about the current state of the Irish property market than any statistics or analysis.

God's gift..

2007-06-02T21:17:00.000+01:00

My brother-in-law and his wife told us today that they are expecting another child.
Apparently they "broke" the news to their other two kids by asking them "what they would think if god gave them another baby"....

E.

Picturepost

2007-05-29T18:20:00.000+01:00

This is no joke...

2007-05-09T15:31:00.000+01:00

Toshiba prototype 360-degree screen.
'nuf said.

E.

Feckin' Ebay scammers...

2007-03-29T11:21:00.000+01:00

I am on the lookout for a car and decided to have a look on Ebay as more and more cars are apprently being sold there.
I came across a very nice Volvo XC90 being offered for a very low price. It looked improbable to me but I decided to contact the seller anyway.
A few hours later I received this reply:

Thank you for your interest in my car. It is in perfect working condition. My experienced tech has fully checked out this car and gives it a special high rating. It has a CLEAR and CLEAN TITLE a great history and mechanically without any problems ever, safety check and pre-delivery inspection along with a fresh servicing before I ship or deliver the vehicle. The problem is that in the meanwhile I had to move with my family in Seville Spain where I got a new job as a construction engineer. I brought the car here with me with the intention of driving it but when I found out about the very high import duties and all the restrictions regarding registration and emissions tests here. I have made up my mind and decided to sell the vehicle. The price is final, 8850 euros shipping directly to your address included.We will make the deal via eBay and I will need your full name and shipping address to proceed.

I this point I wisely decided to not pursue this any further as it clearly reeked of a scam.
The next day I came across another car that got my interest; a nice 2003 Landrover Defender. Again I fired of an email to the seller asking for more details and a indication of the reserve.
Following is his/her reply:

The Defender is in perfect working condition.
My experienced Land Rover tech has fully checked out this car and gives it a special high rating has a CLEAN TITLE a great history and mechanically without any problems ever safety check and pre-delivery inspection along with a fresh servicing before I ship or deliver the vehicle.
The problem is that in the meanwhile I had to move with my family in Netherlands where I got a new job as a construction engineer.I brought the car here with me with the intention of driving it but when I found out about the very high import duties and all the restrictions regarding registration and emissions tests here I have made up my mind and decided to sell the vehicle.The amount you will have to pay in order to own this vehicle is £5,000 with shipping costs included!
Also, I take in consideration only those buyers who are really interested in buying the car,so be sure that I don't waste my time with endless discussions. This way, I shall be assured of your serious intentions. I only use eBay approved payment methods for this kind of transaction.
Let me know if you are still interested.

I am sure that you can hear the alarm bells ringing. Again a fairly new car being offered for a very low price and a similar story with only a few details changed. At this point I decided that it was time to have a bit of fun with this person.
I sent back the following message:
Hello,

Will you give me a discount if I buy the Volvo XC-90 that you have advertised also?
Also which of the two vehicles is best suited for commuting from Spain to the Netherlands as you must do a fair bit of driving.

Regards, Idi Amin.

Surprisingly I did receive a reply

Hi again,
As I said in my first email the car is currently located in
Netherlands and it will be shipped from here by water.You will get
the car to the nearest port in your area and then it will be trucked
forward to your place.
Usually shipment takes maximum 10 days depending on your location
and will be fully insured against damages,shipped in a crated
container. Total price of the car including all shipping costs and
insurance all the way to your place is 5000 GBP.
The most important thing in all my activity here is that I am
affiliated with eBay where I have a purchase protection account for
20,000. eBay is the insurer of this transaction by using a certified
third party to insure that both parties comply to transaction
requirements.

In order to notify eBay I will need buyer's full name and shipping
address so I can open a transaction case and they will contact you
for further details and instructions.

Regards!

My reply was:

Albert,

I want to purchase this vehicle.
How do I proceed?

Obviously he took the "bait"

Hi,

If you are interested in buying the car please send me your full name and shipping address so I can open a case with ebay and declare you as buyer.As soon as I have your details I will ask ebay to contact you and let you know what you have to do regarding this sale.

Thanks,

A nice exchange continued:

Albert,

You have my name already.
My address is: 69, Pog ma hone, Bangmyringasskiddy, Co. Leprechaun, Ireland.

Regards,

To my amazement he did not question the ludicrous address:

Hey,

Got your info and already sent it to eBay hoping they will contact you in a few minutes with all the details.
After you will hear from them please email me back because I need to know for sure if this is a done deal!

Hoping to hear from you soon,
Nice doing business with you.

I will just post the verbatim exchange below, replies from Mr. Albert Wagner are in italics and my messages are in bold.

Same here Albert.
It's an absolute pleasure doing business with you!

Please let me know if you got the eBay invoice?
Thanks,

Albert,

No, I haven't.
Can you please follow this up for me.
I'm eager to buy the car and have the money waiting.

Regards,

After this I received a fake (but very convincing) Ebay invoice. Shame that they used non-ebay email addresses as reply to..

The transaction must be completed as eBay has advised you in the payment confirmation.I already declared you as buyer and the transaction must be completed as they have advised.
Please let me know when you'll be able to make the payment so i can know when I should start the shipping process.

Thanks,
Albert

Albert,

I just received the invoice.
I have friends in Amsterdam, can they collect the vehicle?

The transaction must be completed as eBay has advised you in the payment confirmation.I already declared you as buyer and the transaction must be completed as they have advised.
Please let me know when you'll be able to make the payment so i can know when I should start the shipping process.

Thanks,
Albert

Albert,

I am a bit reluctant to pay the money to someone that I do not know via Western Union.
Is it safe?
How do I know who to send the money to and that you will get it?

This deal is 100% legit.As you can clearly see in the eBay invoice you are fully protected in this transaction.That's why I choosed to handle this deal trough ebay because they will guarantee for this transaction.
They will keep the money in a safe place until you receive and test the car.
In the eBay invoice you'll find all the steps that you need to complete the payment,also overthere you'll find my name and address,please let me know if you got them?
If not you can email to eBay and ask them to provide you further information at: ebay@protection-account.com

Please email me as soon as posible.
Thanks,
Albert

Albert,

OK, the instructions that I received from Ebay tell me to pay via Western Union.
I've contacted my local Western Union office and they have asked me for the details of the receiver.
What details should I use?

Regards,

Here you have the details that you should use as receiver:
Name: Albert Wagner
Address: Appolou 23 B,Amsterdam,1077,Netherlands

I thought eBay has already sent you this information.Please let me know when you have done the payment.
I have just one more request for you: when you will go to western union and wire the money, please don`t tell them that you send the money to buy a car , because they will ask us to pay additional high fees. We can avoit that if you can simply tell them that you send the money to a friend or a relative. I hope you understand and thank you in advance.

Regards !

Albert,

I have just sent the payment.
How do we proceed from here?

You have to send the payment details to eBay at eBay@protection-account.com so they cand verify and inform me to start the shipping process.

Thanks,

Albert,

I have just done that.

Regards,

Did you've made the payment?I didn't receive any email from you?Did you've sent the details to eBay so they can verify and inform me to start the shipping?

Please email me as soon as posible.

Thanks,

Albert,

I did all that over an hour ago and send you an email also.
Please confirm that everything is in order.

Regards,

At this point the guy is entering in a feeding frenzy and gets really eager for me to transfer the money. His grammar and use of English also has me convinced that he is of African descesnt..

I've asked eBay if you did sent them the payment details and they said you did not sent any payment details????
What is this???Are you serious????
You have to send them the payment details(a scann paper of the receipt from western union) at eBay@protection-account.com so they can verify and inform me to start the shipping details.
Once again,please send the payment details to eBay if you really make it.

Thanks,
Albert

Albert,

I did exactly as you instructed me.
I made the payment in your name at my local Western Union office and emailed all requested details to the email address provided.
Why are you pretending that I didn't?
You told me that this was an absolutely secure method.
Please respond ASAP.

Regards,

I'm saying that you did not send the payment details to eBay because I did get in contact with them and they said you didn't send them the payment details????
Can you send me a scann paper of the receipt from Western Union so I can see that you really make it???
Regards,
Albert

I decided to really mess with his head and went to the EbolaMonkeyman website and copied one of the Nigerian scam emails and send it to him..

Albert,

I still want to purchase this vehicle however in order to be able to release the money to do so I need your assistance with a specific matter.Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. I am a Branch Manager at one of the standard trust bank Nigeria Plc,Lagos. A foreigner, Late Nicholas Owen, a Civil engineer/Contractor with the federal Government of Nigeria, until his death three years ago in a ghastly air crash, banked with us here at the standard bank plc,Lagos. He had a closing balance of USD$25.5M (Twenty five Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) which the bank now unquestionably expects to be claimed by any of his available foreign next of kin. Or,alternatively be donated to a discredited trust fund for arms and ammunition at a military war college here in Nigeria. Fervent valuable efforts made by the standard trust bank to get in touch with any of late Nicholas Owen_s next of kin (he had no wife and children)has been unsuccessful. The management under the influence of our chairman and board of directors, are making arrangement for the fund to be declared "UNCLAIMABLE " and then be subsequently donated to t! he trust fund for Arms and Ammunition which will further enhance the course of war in Africa and the world in general. In order to avert this negative development. Myself and some of my trusted colleagues in the bank, now seek for your permission to have you stand as late Nicholas Owen_s next of kin. So that the fund (USD$25.5M), would be subsequently transferred and paid into your bank account as the beneficiary next of kin through our overseas corresponding bank. All documents and proves to enable you get this fund have been carefully worked out and we are assuring you a 100% risk free involvement. Your share would be 30% of the total amount. While the rest would be for me and my colleagues for purchase of properties in your country through you/your Company. If this proposal is OK by you, then kindly supply me with the follwoing information so that we can expedite this transaction:

1. THE NAME OF YOUR BANK
2. THE BANK ADDRESS
3. THE BANK ACCOUNT
4. THE BANK ROUTING/SWIFT CODE
5. THE BANK BENEFICIARY
6. YOUR COMPANY NAME
7. YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE,FAX AND MOBILE NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION.

Looking forward to your reply,

Regards, Robert Mugabe.

I could almost hear his brain do a backflip!
His reply followed within minutes:

What is this email???Are you serious?
Please email me as soon as posible.

Albert,

I am absolutely serious.
I am also emailing you as requested.
I will need to confirm your identity before I can proceed.
Will you please send me a picture of yourself?
In order to make sure that it is you I would like to you to hold up a sign with the words: "ILIKE THECUMOFSUMYUNGGUY".
That will be sufficient proof for me to proceed with the payment.
Please respond ASAP.

Regards,

His reply is absolutely priceless....

you are a fucking scammer and I will report you to ebay and authorities.

There was only one more thing left to say:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F**k you monkeyboy!

Regards, The last king of Scotland.

Boy that was FUN!!!

E.

A picture says more than a 1000 words..

2007-02-11T15:19:00.000Z

Skype is great and I have been using it for years with almost no complaints at all.
However for those of you that conduct Skype video-calls that resolution seems to need some improvement. Now you can do this yourself!
Jaanus Kase has posted on the a "hack" on the Skype developer forum that will let you change your resolution to 640x480.

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible if this hack messes up your Skype install, your PC, network or lovelife...

Broadband: yes please. Criticism: no thanks.

2007-01-29T19:06:00.000Z

Apparently "Ireland Offline" (Irelands self-appointed broadband users lobby-group) can't take criticism.
Someone dared to ask them what their goals were and what they had achieved so far.
Now, in my opinion, that is a perfectly reasonable question for someone to ask.
IOFFl seems to think otherwise.
See here what ensued.
It is clear to me that IOFFL has been talking to a lot of people but that it has had very little effect. This seems to frustrate it's members a lot and they seem to refuse to admit this.
Time for some fresh blood methinks....

E.

Is Secondlife a scam?

2007-01-25T11:11:00.000Z

I don't get the "buzz" about Secondlife.
I can see the value & attraction in extending your network through the variety of online communities however I think that interacting with other people through the medium of an online virtual world populated of badly rendered versions of people's dream-persona is just plain sad.
Apparently there are people who spend days wandering around this environment and become absolutely addicted to it. They create detailed characters (avatars), interacts with other inhabbitants, build homes, businesses, towns and even cities.
They date, have intercourse and get married.
To all those people I have only one thing to say: GET A LIFE!
There's a whole real world right outside your frontdoor full of real people that are rendered in a much higher definition, have an superior GUI and who also have nams that don't sound like they're straight out of some 70's German existentialist movie.
And the intercourse is better in the real world too!

On top of that there is a rumour going around that you can make money on SecondLife. This has spawned a whole herd of would be internet-entepreneurs that cannot cut it in real life. Apparently you can set up shop in this virtual environment and flog your wares. Other inhabitants pay you in "Linden-dollars". People are filling their (virtual) pockets with these Linden-dollars. But the last time I checked Linden-dollars weren't a recognised currency on the international Foreign exchange markets. So in order to get some kind of tangible revenue out of you SecondLife business you need to be able to withdraw and exchange that money.
And that's where the problem lies.
Randolph Harrison has a very informative and insightfull article on his blog.
It basically shows that the way Secondlife operates is very much like a pyramid scheme.
I suggest that you read the article but I will give you a few quotes as a taster:

Multiply all these micropayments among Linden’s claim of millions of customers, tens of thousands of which are online at any given time, and SecondLife supposedly represents a very real economy generating hundreds of thousands of real dollars of commerce, daily. Linden self reports an astonishing L$314,101,463 were earned in December 2006. That’s $1,163,338 USD of value by Linden’s average “exchange rate” of SLL/USD. But more about exchange rates later.

I discovered that the interest rates being paid by these banks, when calculate by interest-rate-parity against the USD, were mispriced allowing for a whopping 2,786.32% return arbitrage opportunity. Over some months we sunk the better part of $10,000 USD into SecondLife, borrowing from banks, lending to banks, and entering into various types of virtual financial arrangements with virtual businesses.

Put simply, you can seldom trust those with whom you’re doing business in SecondLife. Even supposedly well established, well regarded business citizens are prone to defaulting on any obligations which prove inconvenient. Whole banks will disappear over night, along with your L$ balance. Private businesses will simply refuse to make good on financial contracts. And individuals, pretty much all of whose real world identities are carefully guarded anonymous secrets, sometimes even will openly default, without recourse.

This game was just a pyramid scheme.
SecondLife is not a dramatic taste of our future, in which markets are virtual, currency is free from government control, taxes are non-existent, and normal people can become real millionaires simply by clicking their mouse a few times.
SecondLife isn’t even a simple virtual economy, with legitimate buying and selling, and opportunity for those who would compete.
No, SecondLife is a classic pyramid scheme. Or, more of an Amway-like pyramid: partially legitimate, partially ponzi. Sure, there are plenty of legitimate SecondLife customers who just like to go there to get their kicks, spend a couple dollars, and be on their way.

Make up your own mind...

E.

Dave's not here...

2007-01-22T10:10:00.000Z

I decided to take a trip to Roscrea's McDonalds again yesterday.
It's a 45 minute (one-way) trip but seeing that I am trying to educate my kids about good nutrition I make the effort.
Now, I have posted about my experiences with this restaurant on previous occasions and have been quite please with the level of service implemented by one of their managers.
Had my experience been the same yesterday I wouldn't have been posting here today.
When I entered the "establishment" yesterday I noticed that Dave wasn't on duty. But surely that shouldn't be a worry. The other managers must have noticed Dave's efficiency and taken some pointers.
Not at all....
While the place was packed and people were lining up all the way back to the door the manager on duty though that it was acceptable to stand at one of the checkouts and discuss the intricacies of Saturdays hurling match with one of his buddy's. Occasionally he would contribute to the productivity by lobbing a few sachets of ketchup onto some trays from as far as 6 feet away (obviously trying to display his great aim and ball-handling skills).
My order was taken by Amanda. Now I have had the "pleasure" before of being "served" by Amanda. She performs her job with all the enthousiasm of a aging prostitute in a Mogadishu brothel.
She avoids eye contact with the customer, grunts in repsonse to an order. Insists on referring to a latte as a coffee (and subsequently serves me a coffee) and will stack your whole order on one tray. Even if your order consists of 6 meals.
All because: "sure, it'll be grand"....
The manager contributed by throwing 15 packets of ketchup and the same number of salt-sachets on my tray.
Halfway during my mail I decided to avail of their free WiFi because I hadn't fed my email addiction for some time. When asking at the counter for a voucher so that I could use the service I was met with a blank stare reminiscent of the eyes of a week old piece of roadkill. The same response when I asked for a refill for my wife's latte. Eventually the "body" behind the counter filled the latte cup with plain coffee and asked the manager for a voucher for "d'internet".
Cue a sigh and a grunted "i'll get it in a minute".
Apparently they keep the vouchers in a locked safe in the office. Because, hey, god forbid someone might want to use a service that is advertised.
When the requested voucher still hadn't materialised after 5 minutes I walked away to finish my meal.
A few minutes later a "hostess" walked by so I decided to ask her if she could get one of the vouchers for me. My question was answered with a pause followed by "me don't speak English".
Now this really gets on my tits.
If she doesn't speak English:
1)How did she get the job?
2)Why is she allowed to mingle with English speaking customers?

Don't get me wrong; the woman in question has been working in that particular McDonalds in that particular position for at least a year. I seriously doubt if I would have gotten the same answer if I had asked her if she wanted a better paid job...

Anyway, Dave if you read this please pass some of your "magic" on to the other staff.
It's great, it's refreshing and it makes everybody's life a little bit more enjoyable.

And, please have a talk with Amanda. I'm sure that I am not the only on sick of her attitude...

E.

UPS's service stinks too...

2007-01-17T14:16:00.000Z

I recently posted about FedEx's bad service.
Apparently they are not alone...

I had a parcel shipped to us from a customer in Leeds (UK) yesterday.
The parcel was collected in Leeds at 18:53 yesterday evening.
From there on it was forwarded by plane to Cologne, Germany (?!) and went on to Dublin. From Dublin it was sent to Shannon where it arrived at 6:01 this morning.
That's under 12 hours, including the detour via Germany.
Not bad at all.
Now when will I receive it? Apparently sometime tomorrow afternoon...
Yes, that's right.
12 hours to get from Leeds to Shannon but another 30 hours or so to get from Shannon to Nenagh.
Why?
Well apparently UPS does not deliver to my address because it is outside of a major urban centre.
Shock horror!
They forward the shipment to Interlink's depot in Athlone (probably passing Nenagh on the way). Interlink send it to their depot in Nenagh from where it will be delivered sometime tomorrow afternoon...
This is just un-f*cking believeable.
My 3 year old can run a better logistic system than that...

E.

Fedex kisses my arse ;-)

2007-01-15T15:59:00.000Z

I posted some weeks ago on how I was having huge problems shipping a simple parcel with Fedex.
The post got a fair bit of exposure and I noticed a lot of hits comming from Fedexs' network. However the lack of response from Fedex was dissapointing.
Until today!
I received a letter in the post from Colin Groves, head of customer service FedEx UK & Ireland.
Rather than comment on it I will quote the full letter here:

11 January 2006

Dear Mr. XXXXX

Your email referencing the entry in your blog has been passed for my attention, and I was concerned to learn of the problems you have encountered with our service.

From the information provided , I have reviewed the causes of the delay. On 2 occasions, primarily due to human error, the instructions to mak a collection were not communicated to the on-road Courier. As you were aware, on the third occasion a shortfall of resource was cited as the reason for the failed collection attempt.

The explanation is frankly unacceptable and you have every reason to expect better from our company. Attempts to recover the situation could have been made in each case. had our partner operation in Ireland advised our Customer Service team. They did not, and I understand that this only added to your frustration.

I apologise for this unaacceptable situation and can assure you that I am working closely with both our Customer Service team here in England, and our service provider in Ireland to address these issues.

We recognise that where we are able to directly serve the customer, satisfaction increases, meeting our goal to provide a professional and reliable service. As a result, I am sure that you will be pleased to learn that from 26 February, FedEx will begin to operate in Nenagh from the FedEx facility in Shannon, no longer relying on a service partner for collections and deliveries. This development is a key part of our Ireland expansion plan, which we believe will bring enhanced service benefits to our customers.

Whilst an apology after the event is no consolation, I appreciate the inconvenience these events have caused, and arangements have been amde for the transportation charges related to this shipment to be credited in full.

Yours sincerely, Colin Groves
Head of Customer Service
FedEx Express, UK & Ireland

cc: David J Bronczek, President CEO FedEx Express
Robert W Elliot, Regional President, FedEx Express EMA
Mrs A Schuett-Fahrenk, Vice President Customer Experience EMEA
Adam Koffles, Managing Director, Customer Experience NEu & EMEA
David Canava, managing Director, Operations

While it is good of FedEx to respond and send me a letter apologising for the shoddy service it still doesn't make up for me having to explain this to a new (and possibly very big) customer. The shipment was sent on my customers account so while they get a refund I get nothing but an apology...
Also I spent two days during the holiday season waiting in our office for the driver to collect the shipment while we were actually closed for business.
Now if Fedex promised me a nice discount on all future shipments I woud be a happy camper!

E.

I'm not the only one loving it..

2007-01-11T17:32:00.000Z

I recently posted about the excellent service I received in the McDonalds restaurant in Roscrea.
It seems that I am not alone. I have come across a number of other blog-posts and forum discussions illustrating the premium customer service that McDonalds is providing.
Have a look here, here and here.

Comment of the year goes to this one:
"I know people think that they are creating business for it in the long term but would we not be better off if McDonalds took over the running of the Irish public health system as well as care for the elderly ???

People in A & E could get a special McTrolley meal while waiting for the doctor. People waiting for a trolley might get a McBack of an ambulance meal in the car park. You might get a McGeriatric in a home. The possibilities are just endless.......

They just could not make a bigger pudding of it than the current crew"

I also think that McDonalds should promote Dave in the Roscrea branch or at least give him a bonus. The guy obviously deserves it!
Just please do not promote him to a different restaurant!

E.

Fedex me arse...

2006-12-29T21:31:00.000Z

Let me quote from Fedex's corporate website:

Employees: More than 140,000 worldwide
Service Area: More than 220 countries and territories worldwide
Airports Served: More than 375 airports served worldwide
Aircraft Fleet:

674 aircrafts worldwide, including:

* 53 Airbus A300-600s
* 65 Airbus A310-200/300s
* 11 ATR 72s
* 29 ATR 42s
* 13 Boeing 727-100s
* 94 Boeing 727-200s
* 25 Boeing DC10-10s
* 17 Boeing DC 30-10s
* 41 Boeing MD10-10s
* 6 Boeing MD10-30s
* 58 Boeing MD11s
* 10 Cessna 208As
* 243 Cessna 208Bs
* 9 Fokker F-27s

Vehicle Fleet: More than 42,000 motorized vehicles worldwide

With all that might you would think that they could collect a shipment in rural Tipperary, right?
WRONG!
They have so far failed on three occasions in the last 7 days to collect a shipment. I booked all the collections by phone and got confirmation via email.
It has even been "escalated" to their "service focus team" where I was repeatedly assured that they would sort out the problem. They even went as far as stating that they would ship for free. Which is no f*cking good if they can't collect the damned shipment in the first place...

The first two times they failed to collect because the depot didn't instruct the driver to collect the shipment. If that's not the stupidest excuse ever I do not know what is...
Today was going to be their third attempt. Considering their first two cock-ups I was expecting a Fedex chopper to land in the garden.
But nothing, nada, niente, niks, nichts....
I called the "service focus team" again to see what the hell was happening.
I couldn't believe it when I was told that it was not collected today because the drivers were "too busy" and did not have time to collect my shipment.
The next collection date was next Tuesday (as in next year).
I am dumbfounded......

The shipment is for a new customer in Israel who needed it urgently.
I could have walked to Israel faster...

It seems that eof the major couriers in Ireland handle any domestic collections or deliveries themselves. It all outsourced to two-bit operators who have only been selected on low cost rather than speed, efficiency & quality.
This affects Fedex, UPS, DHL as well as An Post. The result is a crappy, overpriced service. And quite honestly I am sick and tired of it...

E.

If anyone in Fedex reads this I would really like an explanation for this failure to perform but also for their decision to outsource the domestic service in Ireland.

I'm loving it!

2006-12-29T20:55:00.000Z

On our way back from a visit to the East coast yesterday I decided to feed the herd in on of the few McDonalds restaurants in this country. This one was located beside a round-about outside of Roscrea.
Now, I had visited this one before and it was one of those 2nd rate locations for a McDonald restaurant. It's located on a small plot behind a filling station with very little parking. However I pass by their and that makes it convenient...

Last night I was tired and hungry, a recipe for disaster. On top of that the place was packed out.
Trying to feed a herd of tired, hungry kids in a busy McD's can be a daunting task.
Well, I was in for a great surprise.
Apparently the restaurant had a new manager. I rattled of my order and was not meet with the usual: "euh, wasda again?".
He took my order, repeated it without any mistakes and I had my order and was on my way back to the table within 2 minutes. No only that, he helped me carry all the stuff (2 trays) to the table.
On top of that he remined my wife that her latte came with unlimited refills (something that nobody in any of the other McD's restaurants had ever told us). The guy obviously believed in the McDonalds formula and followed it to the letter.
Having managed one of these restaurants many moons ago I could recognise the "rulebook" down the letter..

I started chatting to him and apparently he had done this job yonks ago in the US, married an Irishwoman, moved to Ireland and worked for a large pharmaceutical, got laid of and went straight for this job.
It was great to see his innitiative, professionalism and enthousiasm for the job.
This is a concept that is sadly missing in a lot of people working in customer "facing" jobs in this country.

I give this guy a 10 out of 10 and can only recommend people to visit this McD's.
Oh yes, before I forget, they have free wifi internet accces too.

E.

Lets all come together this Christmas.

2006-12-22T11:51:00.000Z

Apparently today is "Global Orgasm Day".
The organisers want us all to reach a state of trans-global climax at exactly 4 pm CET.
I'll just quote from their website:

WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone
you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction.

WHEN?
Winter Solstice Day - Friday, December 22nd,
at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm. There are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

Get out the Cleenex and jars of vaseline!

E.

Fog knocks out North Tipperary telephone network..

2006-12-21T16:22:00.000Z

I have been experiencing continuing problems with our home-phone lines.
For the last 4 months both lines would go completely dead somewhere between 4:00 & 4:30 in the afternoon. No incomming or outgoing calls, no dailtone, nothing...
Then two weeks ago both lines died on Friday and it took Eircon 4 days to repair the fault. Less than a week later it happened again. This time the fault was repaired within a day. Only to re-occur less than 24 hours later....
All in all both lines have been out of action for most of the last two weeks. To be honest Eircom have been very pro-active by sending people to my house and by calling me to ask if everything was OK. However they have not been able to pinpoint the cause of the problem.
Today I got the best call off all: an engineer called to explain that the backhaul from the local exchange was through a radiolink and that the recent fog might have been causing the problem.
So there you go: fog can knock out the Irish telephone network.
It's back to two cans and a piece of string I guess....

E.

No Broadband, just Bullshit.

2006-12-04T12:44:00.000Z

I live in North Tipperary.
It's rural but not exactly the arsehole of Ireland either.
Property is expensive and we even have a "continental stylee" cafe within driving distance.
However we're f*cked when it comes to broadband.
It took Eircom 6 months to re-activate the phoneline in my house after I moved in. Any form of broadband is not availble through this phoneline bar ISDN which is just one step up from two cans and a piece of string broadband.
I got satellite through Aramiska and Aramiska promptly went bankrupt.
I tried other satellite broadband providers (at €200-plus a month) but now the few trees in my garden are in the way.
I didn't want to wait any more so I called Clearwire. They told me that I would probably have to wait until I am an OAP before they will supply me with broadband.
At that point I will probably suffer from alzheimers and will have forgotten what the Internet is.
I am doomed...

To top it all last weekends storm has knocked out both phonelines so now even dailup is not available.
Eircoms automated service tells me that the engineers are working on it and will probably be resolved in 4 days. It has been telling me that for two days...
I am now typing this sitting in my car, piggybacking on someone wireless network.
No wonder Ireland suffers from a high level of binge drinking....

E.

Latest Linksys firmware upgrade...

2006-11-25T23:59:00.000Z

I've always referred to Linkys wifi gear as crap. However the latest firmware upgrade seems to solve all problems.
Click on the link for instructions.

Not as easy as "1,2,3"....

2006-11-23T11:55:00.001Z

I haven't posted for a while due to lack of time (work mostly).
However I am abliged to update the ongoing "3" story.
I dd eventually receive my replacement (refurb) phone. It arrived two weeks after the date I was originally promissed that it would arrive on.
Did this resolve my problems?
Like hell it did!
Different phone, same provider, same problems.
I have notified 3 in writing that I am not paying my subscription fee anymore untill this gets sorted and that the contract is nul and void as they have failed to perform as outlined in their service description.
Did they reply or contact me to resolve this situation?
Of course not...

E.

Irish Broadband keeps expanding...

2006-09-14T20:11:00.001+01:00

IrishDev reports that Irish Broadband has spent €13 million so far this year on expansion of their network. It goes on to report that IBB is also upgrading it business packages by halving the contention rate and dropping the prices.
Will this proof all the nay-sayers wrong?

E.

Pissing against a "3"...

2006-09-13T15:06:00.000+01:00

Last week I posted about my experiences with "3".
The last contact I had with them was when a very friendly customer services lady promissed that they would send me a replacement phone. That way we could see if the problems were handset related. I had already made clear that they obviously weren't but if this would shut them up it was worth the wait.
She promissed me that the phone would be courier delivered to me no later than Tuesday (yesterday).
Did I receive the phone? NO...
Did I receive a call? NO...
Have my problems been resolved? NO...

It's really unbelievable at this stage and I presume that they just hope that i will just "go away". With my hectic schedule this sounds like an attractive option as I have better ways to spend my time than to chase "3".
However there is the issue of my €99 p/m subscription fee and I will be buggered if I am just going to pay that without complaining...

More to follow...

E.

Broadband the American way....

2006-09-08T13:39:00.000+01:00

Clearwire's recent advertising campaign really gets up my nose.
For anyone who has not been exposed to it let me summarize it;
It features this bloke with a feckin' irritatingly smarmy American accent ranting on about how great Clearwire is and that they can supply you with broadband without wires, cables, dishes, software etc..
Basically without anything.
I expect that if you sign up a broadband fairy will magically appear in your home and will "leave" your home broadband enabled.
This is complete nonsense.
Let me give you some facts:

Clearwire only provides a service in parts of the following areas: Dublin, Kildare (Maynooth, Naas & Newbridge), Galway (city), Louth, Waterford (city), Bray and Carlow town. So basically they cannot provide me with broadband within 48 hours. The fact that DSL is already available in (most of) those areas makes their claim even less spectecular.
On their website they offer Clearplugs. These devices are simple powerline/ethernet adapters that will route your date traffic via your electrical wiring to any location in your building that does not receive Clearwire's signal. What the hell happened to no wires etc? Also these type of devices are notoriously un-reliable and combined with the quality of the wiring in the average Irish home are a recipy for disaster.
Clearwire also applies (but does not advertise this); port blocking & speed throttling thereby making it impossible to use a whole range of services and applications. See here for more info...
And what's this about "broadband the American way"?! Does this mean that if you do not sign up that a CIA hitsquad will kidnap you in the middle of the street, whisk you of to a prison in the Ukraine and tickle your footsoles with chickenfeathers untill you sign up?
Apparently their tech & customer support stinks.

Really guys it's not that hard. Here's a few pointers;

Do NOT advertise a service that you cannot provide. This pisses people off and news spreads fast.
Customer service is just that: service for your customer. If a customer calls provide a service. Fobbing people of, lying, not following up on appointments etc. does not do you any favours.
Do understand the technology that you are using. A network based on radiowaves is to a large extend un-reliable. You cannot sell a service up to the maximum range of your "radio-towers". This range fluctuates creating downtime for clients at the edge of your network. Micro-cells are the way to go.

This proves again that receiving $900 million in funding does not guarantee that you will gt it right. ...
Correction: make that $1.1 billion...
E.

Three; phone yes, email no....

2006-09-08T13:34:00.000+01:00

I posted earlier this week about the problems I've been having with 3's service ever since I signed up with them.
The blog posting has been getting a lot of hits and (obviously) I am not the only one with problems.
As I preferred to have problems solved rather than bitch about them I decided to bring the whole matter to 3's attention and suggested that this was a good opportunity to create some goodwill. "solve my problems with your service and I will post this on my blog", hence showing that 3 did care about their customers.
Did I get a reply?
Did I hell.....

Continued here..

E.

Now you CIA them, now you don't...

2006-09-08T11:10:00.000+01:00

I am truly surprised about the lack of uproar in reply to Dubya's statement a few days ago that; "yes, the CIA operates a number of "secret" prisons".
Did he not deny this some months ago together with the whole issue of rendition flights and people being nabbed by CIA hit-team form foreign countries?
Does this mean that if he lies about it first he can then admit it a few months later without any negative effects?
What really annoys me about the US's so-called war on terror is not what they are doing but the way they are doing it. This is a conflict on a huge scale and the outcome is of such vital importance to the worlds population that sometimes certain "un-civilized" measures have to be taken. The use of interrogation methods that might be seen as torture ae one of those measures. If it known that a certain person holds information that could save the lives of 10's, hundreds or even thousands of "your" people what are you going to do about it?
Ask him nicely?
Or use whatever methods availabe to get access to the information?
I have no problem with the latter...
What I do have a problem with is hypocricy, the US has played this game from day one.
They apply methods that they consider neccesary and acceptable but because they think that the public might not accept them they do not admit their actions. Even when it's blatantly obvious what is going on.
By doing so they lose face & credibility in my opinion and put a negative spin on their whole effort to combat terrorism...

E.

To "3" or not to "3".....

2006-09-01T11:33:00.000+01:00

After returning to Ireland last year I hobbled along on an O2 pre-pay account for a while but earlier this year I decided it was time to get a "real" mobile phone account.
I checked out a few of the different offers online and in some of the local mobile phone shops (did anyone ever notice that 2 out of three of these are smelly, grotty little establishments?).
I eventually ended up in a shiny 3G store where is was assisted in my selection by a friendly member of staff. I had a look at the different phones on offer and being a bit of a techie decided not to go for the blingy skanger phones and to opt for the Nokia 6680 instead. The best subscription offer at the time seemed to be by "3" who were relatively new on the Irish market but seeing that they already operated in several other countries it seemed like a thrustworthy enough company.
I use my mobile phone a lot so I opted for one of their top-end business packages giving me 500 inclusive minutes and 500 SMS messages. I was also lookig forward to using the 3G capabilities of the phone using it to access website and email "on the go" at a reasonable speed. the fact that it had dual cameras potentially making video-calls possible also seemed like a big plus...

Since then 3's service has been nothing but a big dissapointment. Let me list the problems that I have encountered so far:

First problem that I encountered was that some people while trying to call me from non-Irish networks (i.e. abroad) could not get through to me. They just got a recorded message stating that the person they were trying to call was not available. Not even the option to leave a voicemail. The message was clearly coming form 3's network as it was the same one people would get when I switched my handset of. 3's customer support puts it down to a coverage issue even though it happened in a wide variety of locations with excellent coverage. All "evidence" points at a roaming agreement problem.
Sometimes when I tried to make a call I would get no ringtone after dailing the number. I presumed that I was not making a connection and blamed it on either a network or coverage problem. Until I discovered that the call was actually being made and that the recipients phone would ring and that they could hear me clearly when answering the call. I on the other hand could not hear anything. Someone tipped me to switch the phone to "offline" and back to "general" when this was happening thereby forcing the phone to re-associate with the network. This indeed solved the problem and clearly indicated a network problem. 3's technical support put it down to either a handset or a coverage problem...
When sending an SMS message to anyone outside Ireland they would receive this message over and over again sometimes for days on end. When I spoke to three they stated that this was a fault with the receipients network and that there was nothing they could do. The fact that this problem has appeared on various forums as a typical 3 problem clearly indicates otherwise and I strongly suspect that 3's crappy roaming agreements are to blame.
Another issue is 3's credit management policy. Apparently it is their policy that "new" customers are only allowed to run up a bill to a certain amount before they are blocked from making calls that are not covered by their free minutes. They seem to start with the limit set at €50 or some ridiculously low amount. The fact that I have always promptly paid my bills and that each bill comes to something between €200 -€300 making me a substiantial customer still doesn't make any difference. I recently was stopped from making any calls while on holidyas because my bill had exceeded €125. The fact that I was not informed of this when I signed up pisses me off even more..
Their dismall 3G access. Now this one really puzzles me; why do I not get unlimited access to any website or web based resource that I want? Or why can I not access my own email addresses and am limited ot the stupid moronic "3-mail"? I do not want to have my 3G access limited to options to download ringtones, wallpapers or watch re-runs of some crappy soccer footage. What I want is full mobile Internet access. I do not mind paying for the time spent accessing this but I resent having my access limited to moronic content. Why do 3 go through all the trouble of providing 3rd rate content when there already is a huge amount of high quality content availabe. Save yourself the costs of providing and managing this content and just provide unlimited access. Please...
I also discovered that 3G access only works while in Ireland. Even on one of 3's other networks abroad. I was in the UK connected to 3's network there but could not access their 3G service (I was hoping that it would be better than the Irish 3G network). No luck. Up popped a message stating that "packet data services were not available. When I called support I was told that for the Irish subscribers their 3G service only works while on the Irish network.

All this has made my time with 3 the worst mobile phone service I have ever experienced. the fact that their support staff seem to be distinctly in-competent and consistently blame every problem on anything but 3's network does nothing to aleviate this experience.

As you might guess; I am talking a walk down to my local 3G store soon to have a look at some of the other providers. Suggestions are welcome...

05/09/06 **UPDATE**
Yesterday I decided to give "3" one last chance to solve all the problems that I am experiencing. I emailed their customer support department explaining about my problems and provided a link to this blogpost with a estimate of the number of hits it is getting. I put it to them that this would be a good opportunity to create some goodwill as I would post about their efforts to solve my problems.
What happened?
No response to my email but two hours later my phone goes completely on the blink and I can't make or receive anymore calls.
Coincedence? You tell me....

08/09/06 **UPDATE**
I've just received a call from a 3 customer service representative. Apparently it "had been brought to their attention that I was experiencing some problems with their service"....
I had to list all the problems I have had so far again. In response I got the usual pass-the-buck story. It was probably due to either my handset, the coverage or both. When I explained to them that this was not the case and that this had been discusses over an over again the customer service "body" couldn't come up with any other suggestions...
All she could do was to increase my credit limit (again). I was also told that the credit limit was in place to protect customers from themselves and that they would always operate a credit limit system no matter how long someone had been a customer. This contradicts what I have been told before.
I was also told that I SHOULD have been able to use the 3G network while abroad and that my problems connecting to it were probably due to a coverage issue. Yeah right...

When I suggested that, in order to get rid of the handset issue, they send me out a new handset I was told that they could not do this. I could only upgrade to a new handset if I extended my contract by 12 months and if this would not solve the problems I would have to pay a very large cancellation fine to terminate my contract!
Unbelievable....

Instead they offered to send me a refurbished Nokia 6680 to replace my current one.... So if this doesn't solve the problem I will be stuck with a refurbished phone while I paid for a new one....

Continued here..

E.

Irish eyes are smilling...

2006-08-05T12:37:00.000+01:00

Take a smattering of London based Irish travellers, stir in a shovel, sledgehammer, crowbar and a safe containing £2 million worth of valuables. Add a Russian millionaire, expensive cars and a bloke called "Fat Ron".
Let all this simmer for a while and you get this!
Can anyone say "lock, stock & two smoking barrels" part II?!

E.

Anyone missing a bridge?

2006-08-04T00:16:00.000+01:00

Just came across this add on DoneDeal.ie
This is classic and is one of those things that you really only see in Ireland.
No explanation, no nothing. Bridge for sale, stone, period!
And get this: "Entrance at both sides"!
Of course there is only one way to find out more; I have to call PJ....
And by god I will call PJ right after my first cup of coffee tomorrow morning.
More to follow...

Is the Internet steam-powered?

2006-08-03T23:06:00.000+01:00

I am sooooo fed up with being on dialup!
When I first moved back to Ireland last year I thought that it would not be such a pain in the behind to get broadband.
OK, so I do not live in the center of Dublin. So what! If the North of this island can have 99% broadband coverage why is it so hard?
I initially settled on satellite broadband because it was the only short term solution. I choose Aramiska as provider because I had dealt with them before and they had been around for years making it a safe bet in my opinion. Even though it took a few weeks before they installed the big feck of disk on the side of the house and another week or so of tweaking before the system worked correctly I was happy as Larry.
The connection fluctuated around a respectable 2Mbps down and half a meg up.
Sweet....
Then after a few months I suddenly receive an email notifying me that Aramiska is seizing operations and the network would be shut down in 2 hours from the time this email was sent.
WTF!?
And that was it. Not a bit was coming down the pipe. I put my ear to the disk and there was absolute silence.....
Over the coming weeks I resorted to not using Internet access at home and just availing of the DSL line in the office. I was inundated with calls from ISP's that had somehow gotten their grubby hands on Aramiska's customer database and that all wanted to sell me a broadband connection. None of them where of course able to supply it where I lived.
Wankers...
Then, good news!
Aramiska's assets and network were bought by a new owner and revived under the brilliantly chosen name "OURANUS".
The new owners where French of course!
So I was back on the broadband wagon and the bits & bytes where flowing freely again. I was only slightly worried about the fact that these ouranus lads had not contacted me or requested me to sign a new subscription agreement.
So I was happily surfing away for another few months when suddenly my connection went completely dead again. Obviously I was straight on the phone to the your-anus people only to be informed that I had been disconnected because I hadn't paid my invoice. I explained to them that this might have been due tot he fact that they hadn't sent me an invoice. The friendly lady explained that that was OK (?) but that I still had to pay it before they could reconnect me.
I then asked her to send me:

a contract
an invoice
bank details for payment

I think that she mis-understood me when she said "yes, thank you and goodbye" and hung up...
And that's it, in spite of several phone calls and emails I have not received any of the above so I do not know how much I should pay, where to send the money or what I am paying for.
Ooh yes, and in case I forgot to mention; i'm back on fecking dailup!
It's fecking despicable, the government is spending €500k on a "broadband awareness campaign" and I (and I am sure I am not the only one) can't even get decent affordable broadband. Bunch of fecking kettle-heads!

E.

Penis extensions...

2006-08-03T19:33:00.000+01:00

I got a few more spams emails offering me "all natural" penis extensions today.
A few more and my knob-end will have reached the shores of Wexford!
I just wonder why they emphasise the "all-natural" element of it. How else would one extend ones penis?
Plastic? Stainless steel? Or maybe one of those new-fangled, lightweight composite materials that all them bicycles in the tour de France seemed to be made off.
And then they say that a man's car is his penis extensions. It's bicycles I tell you! Bicycles!

E.

Sometimes big means little...

2006-07-31T22:34:00.000+01:00

Today I was reminded the hard way what it means to "be diplomatic" and not to kick someone in the teeth when they seriously piss you off.
I had recently terminated the contract of someone who was working for me. Somehow the twerp did not agree and kept insisting that his contact wasn't terminated and that I should still be paying him. I behaved in the "correct" manner and sent him a letter via registered mail outlining the reason for the termination. Surprisingly he refused to accept this letter. Being a lawyer he should have known that this does not make a lick of difference and that notice is considered served within 48 hours of said letter having been sent via registed mail.
By this point I was seriously questioning my judgement in hiring him (he was recommended by a good contact....) as I have better things to do than getting involved in yet another dick-wagging contest.
Now, he kept sending me deadlines via emails even after I had notified him that I would only correspond via registered mail. He consequently threatened with legal action. I duly ignored these deadlines and threats because I new that he would not have a leg to stand on in court.
Now, today I got a call through Skype from our previous CEO who is also our largest shareholder. The gobshite had gone ahead and called him to whinge that I was not giving him the TLC he so deeply craved. I gave a short outline of the way this had a gone and was advised that he was threatening to put a lien on the company. Now being an SEC registered company we have to report any litigation to the SEC. This information then becomes publicly available and might influence investor confidence.
I was adviced just to pay him off to avoid litigation, even though he DID NOT HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON!
Oooh man, this sucks in a major way!
Had ours been a private company I would have invited the twerp to step outside, rolled up my sleeves and given him a long overdue whooping.
But being a publicly trading company I have now got to be nice and pay him off. As CEO I have a lot of freedom but I also have to account to our shareholders and keep the "best interest of the company" into consideration. That leaves me with no choice but to give the two-bit hustler enough to make him go away.
Sometimes it's just not funny anymore....

E.

Which way for wireless broadband?

2006-07-30T18:08:00.000+01:00

There's an interesting article on Silicon.com's "Radioactive" about the possible ways forward for wireless broadband and wimax in particular. It touches upon such issues as licensing, the difference between the uS and Europe, the huge investment in Clearwire and also covers a few competing technologies.
It's a good article that for once doesn't jump on the Wimax bandwagon.
More here...

I'll be back...

2006-07-30T14:55:00.000+01:00

Or at least that is what I thought when I started this blog.
Then it took me nearly 4 months before I found the time and energy to put up another post. Pretty damn lazy if you ask my but then my life has been mad busy for the last few months. Between developing my business, the kids being home on holidays and the social pressure of outdoor BBQ's I have had not time to come up with a posting of interest.

So, whats on my mind......
Lots of stuff really. About a month ago I bought my 2nd iPod. Nice 'n cheap 40Gb jobbie. It was a refurb jobbie but in very good nick and at a good price. I also bought a rake of accesoires; Itrip, 2 docks, cover etc..
Now the iPod has gone the same way as the first one I bought: it's at the bottom of a drawer soemwhere.... Why? Several reasons really, I did not buy the iPod to serve as a "personal music player" as I hate plugging in and switching off. I did it when I was young(er) but nowadays I like to be aware of what's going on around me. Blocking of my auditory senses is not part of that game.
I bought the iPod to function as a way to play my collection of MP3's while driving. Pretty simple really; upload the music to the iPod, plug in the iTrip, tune in the radio and Bob's yer uncle. All pretty straightforward...NOT!!
First uploading my MP3's to the iPod took ages for some reason. Then it turned out that the iTrip that I bought (the latest model) plugs into the bottom of the iPod and not into the top like the old ones did. This made it impossible to use and charge my iPod at the same time which made me fall foul of the iPod's ridiculously short battery life. On top of that the iPod is so feckin' hard to use in the car that it is not funny any more. 40 Gig's hold a huge amount of music so in order to put any structure in my listening experience I had to do the following:

Create playlists: I'm too busy to do this. Technology is supposed to make life easier and not create more work for me.
Keep navigating between songs & albums: with the iPod's fiddly controls and little bitty screen I might have well been driving blind..

So that was that, iPod relegated to a drawer. I might resurect it one day as a portable harddrive but that's about it.

E.

un-health care...

2006-03-01T10:39:00.000Z

While driving back from dropping the devil's offspring into school I found myself listening to a feature on the radio highlighting the extremely long wait that women in Ireland have to go through when awaiting the results of their smear test or mamograms. Now while I know of a lot of nicer ways to discuss a woman's genitals and mammaries I must admit that this discussion was "fascinating".
Can you believe that some women have to wait up to 6 months for an appointment to have a lump in their breasts checked out?! Or that once a test is carried out that it could take up to 4 months before one receives the results?
It is just plain f*cking ridiculous that in a country that has seen such a enormous economic growth in the last ten years (from the third world of Europe to the fastest growing economy) has a health care system that fails to perform on every front.
Don't get me wrong, it is not due to the people that work in the health service, the medical staff quite obviously try to do the best with the limited resources that are at their disposal.
The fault clearly lies with the government. The health services infrastructure and resources are seriously under-funded. And still the government fails to inject some of the budget surplus (4 billion euro or something in that region) into the health service.
Personally I put the blame 100% with Mary Harney. She is the minister of health so she is ultimately responsible for the lack of proper health care.
Just look at the Irish Health care system's latest track record:

The PPARS system: a payroll system for the health service. Estimated costs: 8.8 million euro. Ultimate costs: 231 million euro. And still the system doesn't work!! http://www.irishhealth.com/?level=4&id=8033
Recently the HSE (Health Service Executive) admitted that something in the region of 40 million euro that was allocated for capital expenditure (i.e. long term investment) was used for operational expenditure (i.e. day to day running costs). The knock on effect of this will have a long term impact.

Those two examples would be enough to get someone in senior management in the private sector fired and possible prosecuted. What does "our" Mary do? She talks at length about the need to get to the bottom of this and to find out who is responsible.

What?! "who is responsible"?! YOU ARE! You are the person in charge of the health service and if you cannot prevent people in the health service to make major f*ck ups like this you should either resign or get fired.

Another great example of Mary's incompetence; because the governement has created a highly in-efficient public health care system they had the brilliant idea some years back to create a private health care system. Don't try to fix it, just create a parallel (and better) system for people with money. But instead of leaving the provision of these services to the private sector the government's set up VHI as a government owned private health care provider. Private sector but government owned and run; sounds logical to you?

Anyway, the VHI soon got competition in the form of BUPA, a wholely privately owned health care provider. Swiftly move on a few years and Bupa is the major player in the private health care system with better services and more profits. Everybody happy, right? WRONG. Along comes good old Mary. Not happy that the government gets to mis-spend our tax money on an in-efficient public health care system she is miffed that a lot of the private health care system's premiums do not end up in the government's coffers, she introduces something called "risk equalization". This basically would force Bupa the pay something in the region of 60 million euro a year to VHI because VHI has a less profitable membership base. So the profitable company is forced to prop up the badly run one. Make sense to you? If so please explain it to me because the logic escapes me...

The beginning....

2006-02-21T10:09:00.000Z

And here it is, my first attempt at a blog.
Why do I do it?
I don't really know, like everyone else, who hasn't been hiding under a rock for the last few years, I've read about blogs in the various media.
I always thought that they were a bit of a self indulgence for people with to much free time on their hands.
Most of them (except some of the Milblogs) didn't have anything useful to contribute.
So is mine going to be different?
Am I special? Will my blog be different? Will it put an extra bit of sunshine in your day, add some more kick to your coffee, make your pillow fluffier and maybe stop your toenails from ingrowing?
Being a conceited bastard I should stay true to character and say YES, but you know what; I don't know and frankly I couldn't give an aeronautical intercourse.
Being at a stage in my life were, due to family commitments and the "pressure" of running my own company, I do not get out enough I will see if this blog can serve as some form of outlet.
Maybe it will stop me from ranting and raving on to my long suffering (but extremely gorgeous) wife and make her life more bearable.

So what will I "blog" about?
Anything and everything basically, being an opinionated and contrary bastard I find plenty of issues in my day-to-day life that piss me off, annoy me or make my blood pressure reach dangerously high levels.
I will most likely vent about such wide ranging issues such as; politics, PC dumbasses, smoking bans, stoopid little cars, hypocrites, lack of broadband, lawyers, people with no sense of right & wrong, bad TV and the complete and utter futility of decaf...
On the other hand, in an attempt to not seems to much of a "grumpy old man", I will regularly sign the praises of; tall redheads (of the female persuasion), strong coffee, big cars (think Humvee, Landrover 110 & Suburban...), family life, the great outdoors and last but certainly not least my wife & kids.
Being in the IT/Telcoms business I might also feel obliged to spout my views and comments on issues related to this industry. Do not take my word for gospel but I have been right more times that I have been wrong (dotcom boom? Yup, saw that one coming).

So are you scared, fascinated or just curious?
Well check back here regularly and you might just spend a few minutes of your day in a more enjoyable way that you used to do previously..

E.